Tag Archives: diet

If You Can’t Be The One You Love ~ Love The You You’re With

The newest experiment of Michelle’s “Finally Fit Forever” extravaganza is in full swing. I am in week 5 of the program and so far so good. As it turns out, 5 weeks is not long enough to attain that “smokin’ hot, swimsuit body” I’ve always dreamed of, but in reality I may have to wait for the next lifetime to achieve that particular goal.

At this stage in the game I am finding some pleasant side effects nevertheless. Sure, my jeans are a bit looser, my face a bit thinner, but most of all I feel better. I mean a lot better.

Years ago I was tested for food sensitivities and because of this, there are days I scan the refrigerator and the pantry and I find the only possible food options are a too ripe apple and maybe a tortilla chip.

On my not-so-cranky days I do much better.

What I’ve discovered over the past 5 weeks is that apparently when the doctor told me to avoid some of the particularly toxic foods I’m sensitive to, he meant it.

Weeks out I find the aches and pains so prevalent in the days preceding FFF are all but gone. I can run faster, jump higher and that pernicious limp due to unexplainable foot pain is receding into the horizon. It’s like the ghost I know I saw until it disappears and I wonder if I ever saw it at all.

Only more painful. And it really was there. For sure. We know this because you could see me limping.

Why is it so difficult to do what makes us feel well? Why are we drawn to things that might temporarily give us a kick but will in the immediate future make us regret our decisions?

The catalyst that brought about my FFF Extravaganza had zero to do with a lack of energy and all over body pain, and everything to do with 2 upcoming weddings and a class reunion.

Yeah…

The most difficult part of a change is getting started and perhaps it doesn’t matter what precipitates healthy change, what matters is only that we make them.

I do not get on the scale to see my progress because it makes me insane. I now measure success by how I feel, how I look and by the fact that I have a well-being about me that had long since eluded me.

I could not have foreseen how much better I was going t feel in just a few short days. And if history repeats itself, at some point I will forget to eat what makes me feel well and love myself not as I can become, but as I am.

meditation

Do me a kindness, would you? When I forget, will you remind me? And I’ll do the same for you.

Like, share, comment, tweet and if you can’t be the one you love, love the you you’re with… Mind. Blown.

To Hell With Resolutions ~ A List Of Ten Beginnings

New Every Morning

Every day is a fresh beginning,
Listen my soul to the glad refrain.
And, spite of old sorrows
And older sinning,
Troubles forecasted
And possible pain,
Take heart with the day and begin again.

Susan Coolidge

In love with each new beginning, a fresh year offers hope that didn’t feel possible when the year was tired and there was so much to be done for the holidays.

Every year I make my lists, I dream about the things that will be done and seen and experienced in the year to come. This year is not different. But rather than subject you to my own, personal goals which may or may not be quite similar to last year’s – oh I will finally get that weight off – I thought I’d keep the bar low here at Michelle At Play and I’ll share with you a few delights I am planning for myself in the year to come:

1. This is the year I will like myself all year long. When I forget, I will simply remind me to be nice to me. I deserve it. Just ask me.
2. I will say yes. Not like that movie with Jim Carrey, “Yes Man”, but like a person who isn’t afraid and yet knows life is fleeting and there’s more to it than Netflix and the easy way out.
3. And when I succumb to Netflix, as we all must from time to time, I will like myself and say things like, “Good girl. Self care is important,” and “This isn’t who you are, only what you’re doing this moment.”
loveyourself14. I will pay attention to my needs and not toss them into the street like bothersome children. Not that I ever did that to my children or anyone’s children… you get my meaning here.
5. In 2015 I will see the good in other people.
6. Best of all, in all situations I will assume the best. You didn’t call me back? You must be busy with something wonderful…
7. I will have faith. I will have faith in you and in me and in a loving Universe. Because it’s all a story and I’m the one telling it to myself. So I tell it with faith.
8. The year 2015 is the year to search for the magic, find it in every interaction, roadblock and mundane situation. If you search for it, you find it. At least you’re more likely to find it than if you never look for it.
9. This year I will take risks with my heart. I will put myself out there professionally and artistically and even, because I am very, very brave personally.
10. 2015 is the year I will lower the bar, raise the expectations and embrace who I am, who you are and what we can become together.

What about you?

Like, share, comment, tweet and pinch yourself to prove it’s not a dream.

I May Or May Not Have Hit The Woman At The Grocery Store…

Yesterday I suffered a public breakdown. I am neither proud nor contrite about it. As my daughter once reminded me after bad behavior caught on tape, “Mom, what’s done is done. There’s no reason to get upset about it now.”

But let me explain.

I’ve shared with you that I am basically insane when it comes to food. I’ve worked for so many years to achieve the ideal shape, and in that work, I’ve done my research. I could educate you on calories in – calories out, I could talk at length about Atkins, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers and a host of other gimmicks and diets. Most recently I have begun educating myself in regard to the Paleo Diet, which I have successfully adhered to for nearly 4 weeks.

During that time my dedication has been inspiring. I am a model cavewoman and so I eat grass fed beef and happy, barnyard strolling chickens. I avoid too much fruit, abstain from every type of dairy and keep the nuts and seeds to a reasonable minimum. Veggies, veggies, veggies. That’s what this cavegirl eats. I’m sure you stand in awe.

And for my hard work? For the dedication of daily Paleo approved exercise and a ton of refreshing and cleansing water? I have lost a total of ONE, yes, ONE pound. Maybe if I weighed myself in kilograms it would seem more impressive.

Nevertheless, I persevere.

While I won’t give up, I will seek further enlightenment. Back to the Keeper Of All Information I went. Google, take me away!

In doing so, I discovered YET ANOTHER stumbling block. By all accounts, it appears I am “histamine intolerant.” Have you ever heard of this? I had not. But now I have. And sorry I am about it. Now I can be even crazier about food than ever before.

This brings us to a very hungry Michelle at three in the afternoon with nothing but a very light breakfast after a busy day. I walked into the greatest grocery store on the planet, New Seasons. I was hungry and nearly in tears as I looked around and realized that pretty much the only available food that fits in this new, horrifyingly limited diet plan, is mixed greens. I like mixed greens, but I still feel ever so slightly like crying. Crying for substance, for sustenance and for comfort. Have you ever cried over lunch?

I walked back out of the store. I called Mr Dreamboat. “Talk me off the ledge, honey,” I begged as I explained my prevailing anxiety attack.

Mr Dreamboat is quite literally my dreamboat. No exaggerating here. “Have a cheeseburger!” he suggested, and I wanted to hug him through the phone.

With renewed strength I bravely walked into Organic Land, I found the biggest bowl I could and began to fill it with delicious and colorful vegetables, but no night shades, that would be too easy.

At this point I was nearly out of energy/sanity, not yet in tears, I took my bowl and asked the woman behind the counter to “wok” me up, please.

If my bowl mated with her bowl, these would be their progeny.
If my bowl mated with her bowl, these would be their progeny.

“That’s the wrong bowl, ma’am,” uuuuuummmmmm…. She brought me the right bowl. It was black to my bowl’s white and much, much smaller.

“Okay,” I said, “I want all of those vegetables and that bowl is too small.” She stood there looking at me as if I was to remove the vegetables from my white, giant bowl into the small, black one. “That’s a salad bowl,” she explained, as if my vegetables would now fit into the smaller bowl because of this truth.

In Crazy Land, it occurred to me I could climb across that counter and smack her. Smack her hard with a small black bowl and make her so sorry. So very, very sorry.

I did not. What I said was something like, “Ma’am, I am very hungry. I don’t know if you want me to put my vegetables into that little black bowl or what, but I need some food. I need this food. Are you willing to cook it or not?”

Perhaps those weren’t my exact words, but it was something like that. Either way, I believe she saw the crazy in my eyes, the urgency in my words and without another admonition about bowl colors or sizes, she wok-ed up my food, even if she did whisper a little to the other woman behind the counter.

I will get my head around this new information, these new guidelines. I am certain that in a very short time I will see this as an answer to the problem instead of just another problem, but until then, I’ll make sure I’m eating on a regular basis. Next time The Bowl Hitler might not walk away so lucky.

Like, share, comment and tweet. I mean it. Do it. I won’t be held accountable for my actions if you don’t.

The Season Of Giving ~ To Yourself

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Workout gumption.

You and I? We’ve shared some stories together. Well, more accurately, for the most part, I’ve told you deep, dark secrets. I’ve disclosed most of my most embarrassing moments and I’ve exposed my demons. If you stop by here regularly, you know I am a flawed person with a lot of gumption. If I do say so myself.

If you are indeed that person, the one who comes by to visit, you will not be surprised to hear I’ve basically been on some sort of diet, reduction plan or weight loss shenanigans for most of my life. And here I find myself again. Don’t worry. I have no ridiculous dreams of body perfection. I’m just having some fun and getting fitter.

Today’s “Aha!” moment arrived in the form of energy. I eat a very healthy diet. Organic. Vegan days from time to time. So I really though I couldn’t be shocked by something. And truth be told, for the most part, I didn’t eat any differently yesterday than I normally do. With one exception. I ate a lot more.

This is a big deal for me. For years people have encouraged me to eat more, and that would help me lose weight. But they don’t get me. They don’t see the obesity that plagues my family. How could they know?

Again, I really don’t have unreasonable expectations with this. But what I do have is more energy. I killed my workout this morning and I feel really good.

This post may look a lot like it’s about diet and exercise and if pressed I couldn’t deny it’s sort of about that. But what I want to ask you, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, is; Are you getting enough of what you need. 

ImageDon’t look over at your neighbor and say, “Well, she doesn’t need more.” We’re not talking about her now are we? We’re talking about you. We’re talking about self care. We’re talking about what you need to feel energized and happy and excited to wake up in the morning.

I told myself if I just ate less, I would be… more. Better. More worthy. Turns out is just made me more tired. And now, though it’s likely my eating disorders and body dismorphia will likely be my friendly demons for the rest of my life, at least I can feel better while I wrestle them.

Give more of what you need to yourself. I mean it.

And if you’re in the mood, what is it exactly that you need? Tell us in a comment. Maybe we need it too!

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Fat

you are beautiful I don’t have any idea how many times over the last year I’ve begun to write this post. If I were to add in the times I started writing it in my head, I’d say we’re well over 100 attempts, If you count it that way. But of all the things I share, of all the ways I open the curtains and ask you to peer into my little world, of the many, many idiosyncrasies I expose to everyone, this is one of the most painful.

Perhaps the loudest of my own personal demons that reign in my head is the one who tells me I am fat, that I am unacceptable. She’s the one who tells me I am ugly because I do not fit in a single digit size. I don’t even think they make my size in most European countries. And my demon tells me this, every single morning when I get dressed.

I believe I thought I was fat for the very first time when I was about 4 years old. My demon took up residence early. I was a chunky kid and it wasn’t until I was a sophomore or junior in high school that I finally thinned out. I liked it so much I thought I’d accelerate the process and developed some seriously unhealthy habits.

Perhaps the worst habit of all is the one where I compare myself to others, the one where I believe the magazines that say I shouldn’t have gotten stretch marks when I had babies, the one where I look at the super skinny models and believe with all my heart that if I work hard enough, if I pray and diet and run mile after mile after mile, that I will someday be acceptable. I will someday achieve the beauty I so desperately desire. I will finally be completely happy.

you are beautiful postThis is exactly why I’ve never been able to write this post. I read the above paragraph and it is tragic, full of misconceptions and lacking the self love I so fervently preach. It is my demon come to take all the power.

And yet I am writing this post. I am writing this post because the demon is a liar. The demon is a story. The demon doesn’t really exist. All that exists are my sad interpretations of messages sent either purposefully or by default from a shallow people and an industry built on making money. And it is time to take back my power. All of it.

At this late date in my life, no matter what I do, they’re not coming to me to model swimsuits for Sports Illustrated. And while we’re on the topic of Sports Illustrated, what the hell does the swimsuit issue have to do with sports? And for that matter, why, oh why! would I ever want that? Does it make for a better life? Can I cure cancer with toned and tanned abs?  Will Mr Dreamboat love me more that way? No. No and no.

It has been over a year since I’ve been on a diet. This is a huge victory for me. It has been many months since I stepped on a scale. This may be even more important. A beautiful sunny day, full of opportunity and joy can be turned upside down with no hope of redemption from a bad scale reading. The scale is my kryptonite.

I finally asked Mr D (who, incidentally can decide at 4 p.m. to lose weight and by 8 a.m. the next morning is down 5 pounds) to move the scale so that I wasn’t tempted to get on it. Though it is only in the back corner of the bathroom, it is inconvenient enough to keep me from using it (as a tool of destruction).

I got rid of the diet. I got rid of the scale. Now, the pivotal action: How, oh how, do I get rid of this damned demon?

Even as I write the question I know the answer. It’s the same answer to any problem of seemingly insurmountable size (I didn’t Love-Yourself10mean my  size). The answer is simply to take small actions every day in the direction I want to go. The physical choices are easy for me; eat right and exercise. Boom. Done.

Been doing those for years, and I will keep doing them for the rest of my years. It’s the psychological actions that are challenging. Are they for you too?

But if I were a guessing girl, this is how I think it should look: Daily looks in the mirror with words of acceptance and kindness. Anyone know where I can get an angel to replace the demon in my head? Every day acknowledging that we are all unique in our personalities, our preferences and in our body types. And gratitude for the health with which I’ve been so generously blessed. That seems like it would do it. Anything else?

For today, I hope you can look in the mirror and love yourself fully. The way you are. No thought of improvements to be made. That is what I’m going to try to do. And I’m going to buy myself something pretty to wear. But not in Europe. Not yet.

Glorious Pain & The Joy Of Failure

No one likes it when bad stuff happens. We like things to go smoothly. We want all our dreams to come true and we want safe passage through this life, unscathed, skin glowing, perhaps leaving it at 100 years old, after we’ve been properly celebrated. We just don’t want any trouble, thank you very much.

Most importantly we don’t want our children to suffer. We want only good things for them, only sunny skies and ice cream socials.

But that’s not how it works. For anyone. And if our lives or the lives of our children did, by some freakish chance, pass without any difficulties, we would all be far worse off.

Our troubles make us stronger, they teach us powerful lessons, they give us meat for awesome stories. The lessons we learn through pain, the character we gain from failure and humiliation are more meaningful and more vibrant and, if we tell it right, we can help others learn truths through them.

I don’t regret any of the challenges I’ve been through. I wouldn’t want to endure them again, but their lessons are diamonds and gold. They are the most important things I carry with me through this life. And here are ten of them:

1. I learned from being rejected by people I thought would love me, that not only am I powerful on my

own, but that I do have a tribe, and I get to pick them. I learned it’s lovely to be around people who love you for who you are.

2. When I was so desperate, so ensconced in emotional pain, I learned the only thing, the only “one” who could make me feel better was to get on my knees and spend some time with God. He’s not going anywhere.

3. From years of hospital visits and fragile lungs and a lot of bronchitis, I learned how to take good care of my body and I learned to be grateful for my health.

4. Because I’ve always struggled with my weight, I learned about nutrition, I learned to eat vegetables and enjoy fruits and I continue to learn how to love myself.

5. Once when my heart was breaking, and things were so very, very bad, I learned that the only way to feel truly alive and truly happy is to feel truly grateful. Gratitude, in all circumstances, is the very essence of joy, and we can find things to be grateful for in even the most difficult of our challenges.

6. When I had no one to rely on but myself, I learned how to do the hard things, make the difficult phone calls, get up day after day and power through my life in a grand hat tip to “TAKE NO PRISONERS!” I had the privilege of learning that I am strong. It is truly a gift when we learn this.

7. As I’ve seen my own children struggle and go through deeply heart wrenching experiences, I’ve found they can take their lumps and learn from them too. I learned to have faith in them. Our children are stronger than we think and have so much to teach us.

8. I learned, when I was so far lower than I ever thought I could fall, not to judge others. Perhaps my favorite lesson of them all, we are all on our own paths and we’re trying to figure it all out as we go. Let’s give others the space to do the same thing. Life is so much lovelier when we realize we’re all on the same playing field and we’re on the same team.

9. From failure, I learned failure is not as bad as it seems. Failure is a gift. Failure taught me that not trying is the problem and failing is just a gateway to trying again.

10. I think if I had not learned how excruciatingly painful life can be, I would never have appreciated how gloriously beautiful it is. The best lesson I’ve learned from pain is that Life. Is. Beautiful. It is flawed and tricky. Life can be difficult and painful, but it is a sweet, sweet journey, and one for which I am grateful.

What Does Your Closet Say To You?

Sometimes I worry that I appear totally neurotic when I’m posting on my blog. I pretty much lay out all of my idiosyncrasies here, and I’m afraid that’s the only picture you will see of me. The truth is that while I am a total weirdo, if all I write about is being normal, well… that’s just not interesting.

So here I go again, admitting the weirdo truth. But there is more to me than just that. Please take note. Okay, I feel better. Let’s get to it.

The other day I was cleaning out my closet. It’s a decent sized walk-in with a top shelf on both sides and under those, two long bars for hanging. There’s also shelving at the far end. I have filled it to brimming and it’s sort of obnoxious.

Beyond the fact that it’s started to bother me, I also imagine Lucy, the wonder cleaner, sees how awful it is becoming when she vacuums. While I know Lucy to be very nonjudgmental, I bet it bugs her. Lucy is uber organized. This is why we love her.
This is not my actual closet.
So I set out to work on my closet in the way that I do all projects that must be done, but are overwhelming, I implemented the “Ten Thing” rule. As per usual, ten things blossomed into 20 and then to 30 and I think I must have hit 40 before I was done. It’s still overflowing, but it’s getting better.

What struck me hard in the face as I was doing this clearing out was that there are clothes that I’ve held on to that no longer fit. I know most of us are guilty of this indulgence, going one way or the other: What if I gain weight and need those again? As well as: I know I will fit into those jeans again, I love them and I’m GOING to lose this weight.

My issue fell flatly into the second category with one difference. I hated the jeans. Several pair, actually.

Really? REALLY?! I was holding on to clothes that not only DON’T fit, but I hate them too? This, my friends, is not healthy.

So of course I went to Mr. Dreamboat to admit this… this illness. He always gives me great perspective as well as teases me and it makes it feel less ridiculous. I mean, at least I recognized that I do it, right?

Of course he was kind about it. He then thought a moment, as this man has even more clothes than I do, and he said, “I’d take some clothes to Goodwill, but I’m sure I’d just end up buying them back because I like everything I have.”

Yes! I say, Yes! to that answer. There’s really nothing wrong with hanging on to something you love that you might use again, but why hang on to something you never really liked? Something that never really made you feel attractive or pretty?

So I started looking through my closet with a different eye. What pleases me? What makes me feel pretty? What fits me well and makes me happy?

I haven’t gone all the way through my closet. My New Year’s resolution to shed weight is going well and there are still things that I like that I plan on wearing in the near future. I am sure there are at least 30 more things to get rid of though. At. Least. Perhaps when I get home from my travels I will get to it. It feels good to get rid of things that don’t ‘feel good’ to me.

And perhaps when I’m done with that, I’ll evaluate the rest of my world. I’ll stop holding on to the things that don’t make me happy, the things that don’t quite fit me anymore. And maybe there will be things that don’t fit me right now, but I want them to fit again. So many projects!

I hope your life is fitting you well. If not, clean your closet. I have this theory, that when we clear away the clutter of our lives, we’re not really downsizing so much as we’re making room for the things that are really important to us.

Ten Healthy Habits Or A Letter of Encouragement

Extra weight does not sneak up on me. It jumps me like a back alley thug in ten pound increments. For this reason I am bitter.

You can imagine that the holiday season puts me in a tail spin. A couple days of indulgence will require ten mile running excursions and a weeks long fast. I do not exaggerate here.

But I do not despair. I am nothing if not tenacious and while the Thanksgiving weekend left me feeling, well, icky and with a sinus infection compliments of the gluten and dairy that does not agree with me, “we shall soldier on.”

Ten Healthy Habits:

1. Positive self talk. It’s SOOOOOOO easy to slip into a negative mind set in regard to body image. Finding things about which to be grateful for your body is key. I’m so grateful I’m strong and fairly resistant to viruses.

2. A little bit of exercise is way superior to none at all. I think we complicate things in our minds and imagine daily power workouts a la Biggest Loser. The truth is if you spend 10 minutes in the morning doing crunches and push ups, and 25 minutes at lunch walking fast, that’s probably 35 minutes of exercise you weren’t getting before. Don’t go without, just because you’re not doing the full meal deal every day.

3. Drink lots of water. Preferably ice cold. It’s good to keep your systems running smoothly. It’s good for a few extra calories burned every day. Hey, I can use all the metabolic help I can get.

4. Protein for breakfast will keep you going until lunch and you’re less likely to over eat at that meal having fueled up properly to begin with. A couple of eggs for breakfast with some whole wheat toast will surprise you in how far it will get you.

5. I know that apple or orange isn’t the thing you’re craving, but if you eat it instead of the Kit Kat bar, on a regular basis, you’ll surprise yourself by starting to crave them. Besides, that Kit Kat bar isn’t going anywhere. It’s shelf life is way longer than the orange.

6. Don’t wait to buy yourself clothes that fit. “I’m going to lose weight and I don’t want to invest in clothes that will be too big for me later.” It’s crap. We then feel self conscious and ugly ALL the time in clothes that aren’t fitting properly. I know this. I do it all the time.

7. Lean & Green is where it’s at. Lean proteins and green vegetables are great choices for meals. They fill you up and on less calories. This means the weekend holiday party indulgences won’t be as dramatic.

8. It’s not just that every day is a new beginning, it’s that every moment is. Just because you failed at one, or all of these, donut for breakfast, no exercise for the day, Taco Bell for lunch (rated most unhealthy fast food), and a Snickers for snack doesn’t mean dinner should be Twinkies and pizza. Don’t worry about the war, just focus on the battle at hand. You’ll feel better about yourself with a single win than you will with a total loss for the day.

9. Salad or soup before meals makes you consume less calories over all for that meal. Just remember to go light on the dressing.

10. You are whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, happy and grateful regardless of what you do or do not weigh, consume, do or do not for exercise. Life is a journey to be enjoyed, as are the holidays. Cut yourself some slack.

Wabi Sabi Body

While I share things that are going on with my life on this blog, I sometimes feel that I keep it fairly superficial. I’ll tell you about my hurt feelings, but I’ll keep it vague and non-accusatory.  I’ll reveal what I’d like a best friend to tell me, but not exactly why I’d need to hear those things. Today, we delve into the personal. If you would not care to hear anything overly personal, I suggest you log out now.

This morning I did a quick, 3 mile training run, as I’ve recently registered for my first half marathon.  I don’t think I’m interested in doing a full marathon, I think it would be too hard on my body, but a half marathon seems like a good stretch for me.

Before I was willing to register, I leashed up Belle Starr and the two of us went on a mission run, to see how far I could go without keeling over and dying. I told myself that if I ran 10 miles I would register that very day. We headed out the door while we were at the beach, ran up the steep hill, past the outlet malls and all along East Devil’s Lake in Lincoln City. I had planned on having someone pick me up, but when I got to highway 18, I didn’t want to run with the dog in traffic, so we just turned around and ran home. Zoe and I went out in the truck after to see exactly how far I’d run, and door to door was 10 miles. On the dot. 

I was so excited, and not overly tired and now I find myself exactly three weeks away from my race.  Calling it a race seems wrong, since I will likely be the slowest runner out there. But who cares? I’m doing my thing.

I’ve been running for about 6 years, but I’ve worked out for most of my life. I would like to tell you that I started out exercising because I loved it.  That would be a lie. I started out exercising because I’ve had body issues from the time I was a little girl.

I am not built small anyway, and genetically I’ll say I was never really given a fair chance. So I exercise and eat right, and even so I am not a small person. I covet the bodies of small people.  And when small people eat large, fattening things, I feel… put upon.

I’ve been bulimic, I’ve gone through periods of exercise bulimia, I most certainly would have been anorexic, but they don’t get to eat, and I really like eating.

Not only do I know about almost every diet out there, but I’ve been on most of them. I know much more about nutrition than the average person. Much more. I can actually give a fairly accurate calorie count of most foods, along with their nutritional value. Like I’ve said before, this can be exhausting.

I share all of this with you because I am working toward a better day.

My new day involves wellness and happiness and gratitude.  My new day includes the knowledge and dedication from my past, but acknowledges the strength and beauty I already have.  My new day doesn’t require my body to look like anyone’s but my own. Clothes are meant to fit me, not the other way around.

I just feel like I’ve been looking at this thing backward. Why shouldn’t I be celebrating a body that can easily run 10 miles, carried 4 beautiful babies and has withstood hardship trauma and stress?  I have damned it even as it has served me diligently. Ungrateful. Unsatisfied. Undone.

Here’s the thing:

I embrace wellness and health.  I would still like to lose weight, but honestly, it’s so I can run faster. I will eat wisely, but the reason being so that I give fuel to this glorious body with which I’ve been blessed. I will tone it and pamper it and buy nice things to adorn it.  And most importantly I will practice gratitude for it in all its wabi sabi glory. I am satisfied with it, for it has walked thousands of miles for me. It will likely carry me many, many more.

Over the years I’ve had extensive goals for this body of mine. I’ve abused it with fad diets and I’ve over-worked it and under-slept it. But now my goal is different. My new goal is to simply cherish it.Image