Tag Archives: empowered

I Am A Woman Not A Doormat, Dammit

Yesterday I rose above the late morning clouds of the northwest sky and air-bussed my way to sunny southern California. I like to travel and though the lines and tunnels to board any plane can feel quite a bit like a cattle shoot, there’s always an air of expectancy to any trip. Cattle or no.

Because I travel fairly often I’ve learned a few tricks and Mr Dreamboat has mentored me as well. Things like choose your seat-mate and board early can make all the difference between an relaxed adventure and an uncomfortable three hour nightmare.

The second I did, the first, not so much.

I’ve been thinking quite a lot about a video I recently saw showing empowered women in the workplace and daily life. What gave me pause was the apologies. A veritable plethora of them voiced by women from all walks of life.

There was a submissiveness to them that made the video uncomfortable to watch. Perhaps because of the truth it revealed. About me. About you?

I was sitting in my aisle seat on Southwest and I was sitting there because I chose it, because I checked in early and as such had a broader choice of seats than those who were not so diligent.

When 6’4” man came to sit in the remaining middle seat I felt compelled to give him my seat. Because he would be more comfortable? Because I am kind? Because I am a women?

Then I started to wonder if his friend didn’t pointedly ask if he should be sitting in the aisle because of his height. And I wonder if he wasn’t leaning further into my seat because I am a woman and another man occupied the seat to the left.

Truly, I do not know the answers to these questions, but I think they’re worthy questions.

I am a 47-year-old woman with important work to do. I seek to bring a greater lightness to the world, to preach self-love and love for one another. I cannot do it if I’m apologizing about things for which I am not and cannot be sorry. But when should I be sorry? This I do not know.

I am a woman and I want to be kind and generous and thoughtful and at this juncture I’m not sure where the line of between kindness and submissiveness is.

But I’m looking for it. I’m looking for it 20,000 feet above the earth and in my daily interactions. Maybe if we look for it together we’ll find it.

Like, share comment, tweet and remember it’s rare we find something we aren’t seeking.